Thursday, April 29, 2010

Have Fun!!

Jokes

*    I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
*    When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
*    One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
*    Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
*    A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others
*    What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.
*    When god created the men he was only kidding
*    Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!
*    Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN
*    When you harass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.
*    There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!
*    If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
*    How to keep an idiot entertained *press down*....................................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
*    Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters
*    Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.
*    You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!
*    Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitter balls and a little pot of mayonnaise
*    Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law!
*    What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use
*    Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.
*    Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another forty years?
*    Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"
*    There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.
*    Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
  • Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. "Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause." 

Live Long, Suffer Long!

Muthophoner Goddo

Mohammad Mohsin

 Muthophone, nowadays has become one of the most used technologies in poor country like Bangladesh. People of all classes use it though the youngsters abuse it to a great extent. They waste not only their valuable time but also money in chatting hour after our, messaging etc. And it is needless to say that it is immensely used as a medium of telling lies.
Ringing off and on, without any notice, a muthophone can really be very disturbing. It cries with irritating tone or melody at midnight when one is sleeping or at midday when one is taking lunch. Calls may come at the most unexpected moment when one is engaged in a serious job. Such a necessary evil it has become!
The most recent supplied muthophone sets, on top of these, having multiple amenities like mp3, mp4, camera, video etc. are so much available in the palm of youngsters. The young boys and girls would chat with one another through the night to avail themselves of free or low-tariff opportunity offered by the mobile companies. Muthophone makes them feel romance but snatches away their spirit to work. Students like us would forget their lessons led up to poor performance in classes and finally in examinations. They can’t realize that they are getting addicted and deteriorated day by day. What is a matter of great  disappointment is that it rings on the class or exam hall and consequently the teacher, involving in class, loses his/her temper and gets diverted.
The touch of missed calls may come from your spouse or friend or from anybody. And it makes you worried so you call them back. What is more irritating is call from a wrong number. That asks you, “Are you Rasel bhai or Sumi apu?’’ You just gently say, ‘‘ Sorry, I’m not the person you are looking for. But some are not giving you up so easily. They will phone you again and  again  and ask your details.
I wish I would get rid of the hazards of muthophone. But the technology has entangled my existence with it (and most likely yours too) and I can’t get out of it. It has eaten up our mind and damaged our brain cells. In spite of having immense demerits, according as our use, we cannot live without it, can we? 

recollection

Tribute to Memory

Suvrata Das



Recollecting memories with heaving sighs is something like aching pleasure. Thanks to God for introducing us with memory and for making our heart its wonderful abode. So I think we are indebted to our memory and sighs. These two result in hope, which is synonymous with life. Man perishes but like the eternal soul memory survives and reigns supreme. It infuses a different boastful feeling in me and makes me saying so long as I can breathe and my eyes can see, so long live these and these give life to me. When life becomes bored for pulling the wheel then only memory gives it the desired refuge. Mind wishes to knit those colourful dreams again to enjoy the bliss of solitude with the accompaniment of loneliness. Then memory comes and captures everything and reminds us of its very existence. A sudden tune comes and says, “ Why are you sobbing? I am still with you”. As all tunes don’t take the shape of a melody, same is the case with memory. Among many of them one revives life being fatal. The flakes of events our spent life add feather to our memory. Every moment noble ideas assemble there. While searching this tears roll down, throat gets voiceless. Utter vagueness prevails everywhere. Its strength can be understood after entering its depth. All sorrows and frustrations vanish then. Mind cheers up, soul gets delighted. Mind a desire to remain in that magic spell but that sigh comes again makes its place well built. Whenever mind wanders in that colourful island, suddenly an air comes keeping the lung empty which is the unexpressed symbol of unfulfilment, melancholy. Mind has to be back from that place. If not so, life will be static. So to keep life always vibrant, we have to spend it, live it. Again, wherever it seems heavy, mind turns to memory. It gives life shadow like a friend as if wanted to bind with a different compassion. But sometimes the pain of losing becomes more powerful than pleasure of getting. Thinking about this mind becomes melted, nervous. Soon a different atmosphere emerges. The very sigh tries its best to make mind oblivious about this but mind can create again that soothing atmosphere, the same background. Perhaps the iota of unfulfilment remains there but the tinge of getting once spreads beams over there which can’t be expressed but to be felt.

memoir

How Life Gets Puzzled!

Md. Noman 


In the heart of the city, very near to the shrine of Hazrat Shah Jalal (R), only few hotel rooms are alive, as lights are on. Chattering, laughing, jostling among some pleasure-seeking young guys continue on the 3rd floor in a five-storied hotel which literally leaves the marks of liveliness of a bright sunny day and go on till the dead of night. Silence has already enveloped every nook and corner of the city and expedited its balmy presence charioted by the tick-tock of the clock when a pin-drop may appear as noisy as drum-beatings and mosquitoes seem to whiz-pass like Japanese jets flocked in the World War II. I have yet kept me standing on the balcony, all alone, alone in the sea of tranquility, observing the nature’s invisible silence rolling down the city streets, gazing at the bare sidewalks of life that remain peopled with different classes at day light, especially in rush hours. The light posts seem to be bent as if they were exhausted for daylong work brooding over the rat-race of the Eliot’s ‘hollow man’. The snoring city has no sign of hustle-bustle of the busy roads that can meddle with my unbridled tempestuous thoughts. Almost nine-hour-journey and vast distance that we covered today, Chittagong to Sylhet by train, has taken away the energy to count the staircase for descending to the ground floor. So, we are rather satisfied with what we had had during launch in the train.

I didn't notice when, for how long Borhan had been beside me watching. As soon as I took notice of him, he started teasing me saying that I had fallen in love with the girl during our trip. The very word 'love', particularly for my tender age, has floated me away and I can only remember those happenings in the train where we had a nice awfully busy time in the train. Our business only involved a girl with rare expressiveness that we had ever seen. The girl was a fellow-traveler, who might not had crossed her teen, in the same compartment having moderate, graceful beauty that nature has bestowed on her with. Her non-pareil self-expression had non-plused me like anything else. She was fortunate enough, had she been without company of a middle-aged gentle lady, if our supposition doesn't fail, she is her mom, I don't know what would have left for us to tease her in every possible way which a dare-devil can devise. Reza had thrown a half-bitten guava directing her which severely hit her thumb, while she was enjoying the natural scenic views through the window that nature has helmed with her soothing, balmy hands, Ali, dodging every one's eyes, ogled her for several occasions. I didn’t lag behind in doing so and tried to give her romantic gesture but no sign of acceptance or rejection came out from her part. Strangely enough, she, too, didn't show her boredom towards our childish, tireless, incessant efforts of annoyance. As soon as her mom served with lunch, we started having ours but more fun waited for her when we found four spoons instead of five and were scrambling for them. Riaj, not finding one for his own, gave a brave display of being a true Bangli who prefers doing the noble acts of eating with hands to using neither forks nor knives. After having lunch, when almost all passengers were having nap, though very few of them were browsing on their favourite magazines, while others were in deep obsession with their music players, as usually, we, the five imps, were stick to creating nuisance.

Joy, one of my on-tour bosom friends, who has never done least justice to his name as he is inherently meditative, reserved; enjoys things to his own nature; laughs where his heart contends to be gleeful; rejects what turns out to be odds and hazardous. But that night in the hotel, he showed not a least degree of patience at all. While Reza and Ali were playing cards, yawning on and on, almost dozing turning the game of card into insipid, dull, tame, unexciting, unchallenging one that may be well termed as 'wrestle with the air', he, like a globe tracker who is on search of something novel, was loitering around, in and out of the room. Perhaps, he was in a dilemma, trying to trace out what on earth got his mind unsettled. He’s breathing nothing but sigh of grief, agonies of defoliated heart. On the other episode of humans’ tragi-comedy, while both Reza and Ali were foxing their game-mates with bundles of tricks and tact from their treasure, all on a sudden, Reza began to shout excitedly; got his mobile out and playing hide and seek with Ali. From the very first impression, I guessed that there might have some secrets kept under the cover of darkness for so long. Ali could not help running after him so that he might swim ashore to unmask the veiled mystery beforehand. After having a good amount of scuffle and tussle, however, he managed to get its reach. And with a gaping astonishment, we couldn’t believe our eyes that it was the girl’s picture stealthily taken in the train with whom we had journeyed shortly today. Truly, the picture was so lively that almost sucked forth my heart, even, a single kiss contained much vigour and youthfulness which could immortalize me.

In the meantime, Morpheus started lulling us with his magic wand to sleep.
Ali had already stretched him full length. So did Reza. While I was preparing to bid goodbye to night, the absence of Joy jolted me like an engine that shakes at the start. I hurried to the next room which is allotted for me and Joy but found none there. Surprisingly, a sobbing floated into my ear, and I pricked up them to find out where from it came in. I rushed to the balcony, and with great amazement, saw him sniveling in suppressed agony, tears rolling down the cheek, biting his lips in utter frustration, at times, shrugging his shoulders in a peculiar way I couldn’t make out head or tail of it. Never did my entire life provide me with so much strange, inexplicable, queer gesture. Nor was I so perplexed before. I stood being nothing more than a statue. I flopped down by him and put my hand on his back to console, but in vain, gave him several shake, was trying to get the reasons behind that sad episode. The more I asked him, the more he shed-off tears. The face I knew for years looked exceptionally alien to me. I was in a point to draw an end to that fateful moment. Finding no other way out to solve the puzzle, I preferred waiting till the day break. In the morning, when I got up, I saw a small piece of folded paper dropped for us which reads “sorry to leave you asleep”.

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